


i'm just trying to fly and get a little love

by cyrusbarrone



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Bisexual Chris Beck, Bisexual Male Character, Lesbian Character, M/M, a bit of chris beck character development?? i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 01:18:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4646943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyrusbarrone/pseuds/cyrusbarrone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was fairly certain that everyone knew about his thing for Johanssen; that sort of thing tended to circulate despite him never actually confirming the rumour. But he knew for a fact that nobody knew he had a thing for Mark Watney, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm just trying to fly and get a little love

**Author's Note:**

> the idea is taken from an ask that steviebucks.tumblr.com recieved, though i cannot find it anymore, credit goes to the asker. 
> 
> title from long hard times to come by gangstagrass

He was fairly certain that everyone knew about his thing for Johanssen; that sort of thing tended to circulate despite him never actually confirming the rumour. But he knew for a fact that nobody knew he had a thing for Mark Watney, too. 

Johanssen was quiet and smart and strikingly beautiful. Watney was loud, obnoxious, smart, and ridiculously attractive.

Chris wasn't stupid, he knew that he didn't have a chance with either of them. One: he was quite a shy person who tended to get embarrassed about their feelings and try to hide them and two: they were both out of his league. He knew that if he confided in either of them he would end up fucking it up entirely. 

One time he'd tried to tell a guy he'd liked him and just ended up, somehow, telling him that he only liked him as his swimming instructor and nothing more (he'd stumbled on his words until what he was saying was the total opposite of what he meant).

He'd always been dreadful at telling people he liked them and actually getting his point across. And if he could do that part right? Well, he usually managed to screw something up that resulted in him not actually getting to go on a date with them. 

At the age of five he had been best friends with a boy called Isaac. They'd gotten along because of their love for dinosaurs- Chris had all of the Jurassic Park movies on DVD and his parents let him watch them without guidance. Isaac had had a vast collection of dinosaur toys; Chris' favourite being the velociraptor toy. It was made from hard green plastic and someone had lovingly painted on intricate details that looked pretty when he held it and soared it through the air as if it could fly (which, without wings, it couldn't). 

When Isaac one day told him that he could keep the velociraptor (he'd never really liked it, found the T-Rex that was stilled in a giant roar far cooler) his little heart had flown and he'd said, "thanks! I really like you, Isaac."

"I like you too," Isaac said before thunking his dark red T-Rex toy on his head and smiling with his gap teeth. Chris had grinned back.

When he was twelve he asked out a girl in his class names Jane Mathews. She was very pretty with long red hair tied in neat braids that became messy during the school day (for she was always the one who initiated a game of stuck in the mud or cops and robbers at break time). He liked her because during PE they'd run together. He'd tried to ask her out at the school disco in the kongo line, but she hadn't heard him. 

When he was fifteen he had a job at a local books store. It was called Barnes' Books and it was a family run store that held mostly second hand books, and Chris' mum had managed to get him a job during the summer vacation so he couldn't sit around on his ass all day. Well, working there was two boys: one was Barnes' son (Bucky) and the other was his best friend Steve.

Chris had fallen for the gangly mess of limbs that was Steve Rogers, and in front of the book section that specialized aviation of the second world war, he had tentatively tried to ask him out. Poor Steve Rogers had gone bright red and tried to say something in the response, but then Bucky had shown up. Grabbing onto his best friends hand he had glared at Chris and said; "Steve's my boyfriend he can't go on a date with you."

Steve had just blushed and nodded his affirmation and that had been Chris' first heartbreak. He cried for a couple of hours and ate the expensive pint of ice cream his mother kept in the freezer until little Steve's smile left his mind.

He was sixteen was when he had his first girlfriend. Lila Hannovich. She was the girl the popular guys asked on dates as a dare, but Chris thought she was perfect. She had short blonde hair that she kept in a bun at the top of her head, she had large front teeth and was as skinny as a bean stalk. 

He and Lila had watched Scrubs, House and Embarrassing Bodies together while figuring out their bodies. Lila had had a fascination with how thick his thighs were, and spent many hours between them (like he did her, he'd happily eat her out till her thighs shook around his face and her fingers scraped his shoulders). 

They'd only broken up because he had gone to university in a different state and they couldn't keep it up long distance considering their relationship had been mainly physical. (When he'd asked her out she'd screamed at him to fuck off because she was tired of the popular boys asking her as a joke). 

At twenty he'd asked his friends roommate out on a date and he'd gone and Chris had thought it was going well until he brushed his foot against the man's calf and leant forwards to hold his hand (Chris was a sucker for romantic shit) andthe roommate had jumped back and looked confused as fuck. He'd then confessed that he hadn't actually heard what he'd said apart from the word 'diner', and then felt like he had to assure Chris he was "straight, dude". 

There were multiple other stories. The ones you'd see in that cute Christmas romantic comedy that replayed on the TV every year, one where he spilt his drink all over them as he tried to ask them to to to the cinema or something stupid. 

So he wasn't going to explicitly tell either that he liked them. Ever. 

At least that was the plan. 

Commander Lewis fucked that up a little, though, unintentionally. Sitting around a table in Hermes was the whole Ares 3 crew when she had outted Chris on his feeling towards their hacker (saying it out loud and to the person being crushed on always put rumours to bed; made it real). 

"Beck, Johanssen, you're going to have to wait till we get back on Earth to take this relationship further," she'd said. "I'm not risking the crew's life because of a crush."

Chris' face had gone a bright red and immediately he pushed his face into his hands, only peeking through his fingers to look at his crew mates. None of them looked particularly shocked apart from Johanssen, whose eyes were wide and her mouth a little bit open.

"Uh, Commander-" she said, blushing furiously. "I-"

Commander Lewis turned to her. "No arguments, Johanssen."

"I'm a lesbian!" Beth exclaimed, a little bit loudly as if she had miscalculated the volume she needed for such an exclamation. Her face immediately reddened once more and she looked away and focussed back on her laptop.

Mark, who sat next to Chris, turned and gave him a sympathetic smack on the shoulder. "Better luck next time, hey, doc?"

Chris smiled in a 'you-win-some-you-lose-some' sort of way, but in his mind all he could think was; "well I guess I'm gonna be getting dick then" as he looked Mark over.

He didn't mind too much.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! please tell me what you think, and if you'd like you can follow my tumblr at freddeebaxter.tumblr.com c:


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